Lori Dake

Lori Dake is the founder of the "Clip for the Troops" campaign hosted by the Pagan Newswire Collective, which sends coupons to adopted military posts and bases overseas. Its purpose is to help military families in these locations stretch their budgets while facilitating positive Pagan awareness without proselytizing in any way. The idea is to collectively extend help nationwide as simple ordinary, good people out to do good the most direct and efficient ways possible. Lori has written for Warriors & Kin at least once each week since its inception on Beltane 2010. Each article presented provides a glimpse into her home life as well as various news and information Pagans involved with, or interested in, the military may find useful.

1G Spirits

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May 182013

Good morning everyone and happy Saturday once again! We found out Ryan supposedly is going to his consult on Tuesday, so it’s make or break time. The doctors over there are even pushing for him, which is unusual, and I’m taking that as it must to be a good sign. And I say supposedly, as they’ve changed their minds on dates so many times for his MEPS (physicals) – all about the hurry up and wait. It’s been a lot of ups and downs for him, and I ask again to please keep him in your thoughts he’ll indeed go on Tuesday, and he’ll pass, meaning he will get his ship date. Again though, I just hope his ship date is after PSG so I can get him registered so he can attend.

Yup – it’s now just under a month for Pagan Spirit Gathering, and I’m really getting into giddy mode. I reminded my broker and coworker, so there should be no problems with me leaving. Besides, just as it works out every month (I’ve been paying careful attention to trends and patterns), I’m once again in “dead week”. Last week, I worked about 96 hours, and this week, the phone calls dropped significantly, meaning my appointments are a lot fewer, too. The pattern goes that week one (1st – 7th), people let their landlords know they’re moving, so they start calling everyone under the sun about available apartments and schedule showings. The second week (8th – 14th), the folks who applied and got approved for the apartments they visited get the leases signed. The third week (now, the 15th – 21st), it’s that in-between time, where there’s just a few stragglers left from weeks one and two. And, the final week (22nd – end of the month) are the people who are in panic mode about finding a place to live and will apply to just about anything that suits them decently. So with PSG being June 16th – 23rd (Sunday to Sunday, days I don’t work anyway), I’ll be heading out there during dead week and coming back to panic week – during high season no less.

Yep, it will be chaos, but I can swing it. I need this too badly after working my ass off all year, and I know Ryan would really benefit from it. It’s a life-changing experience I get to do every year, and for Ryan, something so positive and powerful like that as a send-off would give him the extra oomph to do well in boot camp. One of the things I believe too is this: Being around so many good people and gaining so much positive energy just before his grueling training would be highly beneficial to pass along to others in his platoon. Ryan told me last time, there were so many in the bunks who were very sad, crying at night how they wanted to go home, scared and feeling alone. He wanted to be there, he was very happy, and this time around, I know he will be that much happier. So, to add all of that positive energy, perhaps he will have that much brighter of an aura which will innately extend to those who need it most. I really believe that.

Of course, one of the things that has been in the back of my mind, and yes, it’s surfacing again just like last time, is the layers of concern. I don’t believe in worrying, because it serves no real purpose. All you can do is do your best in every aspect and let the cards fall where they may. So yes, I believe we all have a destiny, but we can make it our own. Will he come home – whole? Will he piss away all of his money when he does? And while he’s there, will he be the stand-up guy we raised him to be? In the news, there’s so much talk about the rape culture within the military, and of course I’ve had those conversations with him. Be the Soldier, and the man, people can depend on during a crisis. Be the guy who will do the right thing even at a cost. Everyone who has ever met our son knows he has a gentle spirit, and unlike me, I know he has an old soul that has been around the block for at least a thousand years. His spirit has seen and done great things of which I am certain – making and learning from mistakes and accomplishments.

That has me thinking too: They say there are now more people walking the planet then there are people who have ever lived, but science and especially math say that isn’t true. However, when adding in that x factor of how many of the spirits of those people have regenerated, it has me thinking the Universe has had to create some new ones. Therefore, I believe there are a lot of newer spirits within those vessels walking around today, and perhaps that’s a part of why we have so many problems in the world. Just like 1G phones always have bugs, or a hot new video game has a lot of patches to download in its first few months, perhaps all of these first generation spirits have bugs to work out as well. So for the folks like our son who have old souls, we newbies need to be there for them and support them instead of fighting against them.

I know I’m a newbie. I figure I have maybe only a few past lives if that, and I highly doubt I was anyone famous as one of them, but I’m happy to be who I am. I believe it’s what makes me a fun person to be around – all child-like and whatnot. But when it comes to life experiences, sure, I’ve had more than my fair share compared to so many other folks I’ve met over the years, but that’s just this time. Compared to our son, I just graduated kindergarten, and now I’m going to retire to my couch cushion fort and color in my activity book. Maybe Ryan will join me, crawling under the cushions and pass me a crayon I wouldn’t have picked out myself. And even though I don’t like that color (Brown? Ewww! I hate brown!), he’ll encourage me to use it in just the right spots. Not too much, because he knows I don’t like that color, but just a few accents here and there to break up all the red and yellow I got going on.

So who are you? Are you the newbie, somewhere in the middle, or are you close to retiring in the cosmos and becoming your own star? Does it even matter? Some say what matters is how we live in this, and every, life time, because what we do affects everyone else in some small way. Just yesterday, I bought a lunch just before someone offered to treat me at a restaurant, so I gave the lunch I bought myself to a homeless woman. I was actually going to bring it home and, I dunno, give it to my husband or something, but something told me to give it to her. A big part of me says it was just so I didn’t have the smell of fries driving me crazy in the car, but another part of me says it was because the woman looked genuinely hungry and here I was with food I didn’t really know what to do with. (And it was good stuff, too!) I’ll be honest, that’s not really the kind of person I am. I’m the more frugal type (dare I even say cheap!), but after Ryan was here with us for almost a week, I have to think part of his spirit and kindness rubbed off on me. Just a little. So I know tending to his old soul by getting him to PSG before sending him off to the military will strengthen his spirit that much more, and little things like that will permeate to others who also need it – much more than me.

Welp, that’s about I all I have for today. Take care everyone, and many blessings to you and yours!

VA emblem update and Mother’s Day

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May 112013

Good morning everyone, and happy Saturday once again! I can’t believe how fast the week has gone, and it’s because I’ve been putting in around 16 hours since early Monday morning. I get up around 4:30 or 5am, then jump straight on the computer to do my daily postings and return emails, then at 9am, I return phone calls, then I jump in the car and show places, finally returning home around 8:30-9pm to eat a later dinner and go to bed. Our son even came into town late last night for Mother’s Day, and I barely feel like I’ve talked to him at all. However, I did get in a good conversation with him I think many of you will like: He’s considering going with me to Pagan Spirit Gathering!

Ryan has a consult coming up in a couple weeks after going to MEPS, as there’s something going on with his flexibility and/or balance. So yes, please continue to send him good vibes he’ll get the all clear so he can get a ship date! He’s been steadily watching his diet as well as pushing himself physically, but sometimes, personal effort isn’t enough. As many of you know, Ryan’s been at this now for three years, and he hasn’t given up on his lifelong dream of being a Soldier, and his recruiter and even the MEPS doctors see that he’s make a great one. At the end of the day, it’s pretty much a 50/50 chance, a yea or nea, so let’s up those odds, shall we?

And, please add to that when he gets his ship date, not if, that it’s after PSG so he can indeed go with me! We figured out with the new car we bought last Saturday (well, it’s new to me – a ’01 Mazda Tribute) there’s room enough to take him, the extra things he will need and all of my camping gear. More importantly though, I think if he attends, it would make a wonderful send-off for him, especially since there are so many other Pagans who attend who are of the military persuasion in one way or another who can offer him some much-needed advice, guidance and blessings.

And, speaking of Pagans and military (the main focus of this blog, doncha know), some wonderful news broke today which thankfully has not been deemed all that newsworthy: Thor’s Hammer Approved For Veteran Headstones and Markers. I will readily admit, I about fell out of my chair when I started seeing the news posted about, because it shocked me this wasn’t all over the news like when the pentacle was added in 2007. And of course, I was so happy for my Heathen brethren who use a symbolic Mjölnir to represent their faith. It took me a while to pause on that non-news being good news, because in order to get an emblem approved, someone who has served has to have died and their next of kin needs to put in the request. So when you think about it, the hubbub that came along in 2007 was that much more disturbing by repeatedly denying someone a final request – or in that case, I believe it was several.

The other thing I found fascinating is this is emblem #55 and the pentacle was #37. Look at how many other interesting emblems have come along since then, such as #48 (Medicine Wheel) and #53 (Four Directions). Considering Native Americans have been serving in our military since its inception, it’s pretty sad a sliver of their many beliefs have only been officially recognized in this way so recently. So, when folks wonder when the Druids will get their fair shake, I figure it won’t be too much longer, and it certainly won’t take centuries. However, I won’t say please be patient, but rather I would suggest patient vigilance is warranted.

If there is one thing each and every one of us, and that of course includes those who are or have served, it’s that we all have a mother. True, some of us refer to them as mere birth-givers, but for many of us, our moms mean the world even when they’re no longer with us on this plane. Moms love their children unconditionally and miss them even more, and that love can be made more profound while their adult children serve and especially if they pass while doing so. Gold Star Moms have been officially recognized since 1928 but got their humble, somber beginnings during World War I. During World War II, the Blue Star Moms came about, providing comfort and camaraderie through volunteerism and hard work while they anxiously awaited to receive a good word or three (as in, “I’m coming home!”). So on this Mother’s Day, the only thing I really want is for the Blue Star Moms to get their phone calls (missing a call can be so downright painful!) and the Gold Star Moms to feel their child’s presence.

That’s about it for me this week. I have a jam-packed day ahead including a lease signing, which is why, in case you’re the first readers, you noticed this is actually published Friday night. I just really want to catch a few extra zzz’s in the morning before retrieving any calls or emails at 9am. I think I earned that this week.

Thanks again everyone and have a great week! Many blessings to you and yours!

Fox does it again

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May 042013

Good morning everyone and happy Saturday once again! This week has been one of several ups and downs to where I feel like George Jetson begging Jane for help off the dog walker. Even the weather’s been acting wonky – 80F one day, 50F the next! It started with a wonderful thing, truly wonderful, when on Sunday, Ron painted my office purple with white trim and ceiling, especially since April was a new personal rental, meaning I earned more money than we planned. We’re not finished with the last bits of accents for the big reveal, but I can tell you this space truly makes me happy. Such a wonderful gift! Even when I was a kid and I had my own bedroom a couple of times, it’s not the same as this, because I didn’t choose the furniture, and I certainly didn’t have the walls painted to my liking. This… this is awesome. And, he repainted the kitchen, washing away the overt dinginess from years of cooking grease, candle smoke, incense and cigarettes, and the halls are next. Even Ron’s Metal buddies were saying he’s such the romantic to do something like that to make me so incredibly happy, so it’s needless to even detail how well he was treated this First of May. Ha!

Other things that happened this week include the living room TV blowing the HDMI, so off to the store we went to replace it. And what did we replace it with? Why, a 3D one that comes with four sets of glasses and a sound bar. And, because the old TV was still functional in some ways, Ron took that and replaced both of his monitors with it, resulting in him having one big one. You’d think it would be way too big, but really it’s not, because again, it replaces having two monitors connected, and it sure does make watching online movies in bed that much sweeter. (The second monitor, by the way, is one of those 3D Playstation ones, which now with the new TV, he doesn’t need it. So, Ron put that in my room, replacing the TV I had, which was starting to go.) Oh and yes, playing BioShock Infinite on a 3D screen takes things to a whole new level!

So that’s both good stuff, and allow me to get on with it. That sound bar? It didn’t work, so it was sent to the manufacturer for replacement. Oh sure, they were fast, but a little too fast. They sent us back a refurbished one that also didn’t work, so now we’re fighting with them to get a new one. That’s what we paid for, and that’s what we’re expecting. But it’s really not that big of a deal, because we already have a surround sound system, but we still want what we paid for.

And something else that broke this week after buying paint and a TV: my car. I’ve already put in over $1100 in repairs on it this year, and now with this constant overheating issue, they’re talking it needs a new head gasket and fuel pump. With our luck, that can be another $2000, so it’s just not worth repairing anymore. It’s a ’97, so it’s just its time. So later today, we’ll be at a dealership that we used a few years before for Ron’s company car that’s still running extremely well for a pittance maintenance-wise. I have my eye on a mini SUV, not a total gas guzzling tank, which will be nice for going to PSG next month. I’m kind of sad though, because that’s the car that’s taken us on many adventures, and it’s the one Ryan learned how to drive in. I was joking we should make a video sobbing over giving it to the dealer, going over every scratch, dent and whatnot, and all the stories behind it – complete with Ryan’s growth chart LOL!

But all of that is nothing compared to the biggest thing that occurred this week: Ryan FINALLY got to go back to MEPS! Yes! He went to the hotel Tuesday afternoon, and he reported back the results Thursday. He has to go back again in a few weeks for a consult on a flexibility issue, but not even the doctors are all that concerned it will completely hamper his chances of getting back in. They, and his recruiter, are all pushing for him, and anyone who knows how MEPS operates, it’s as though they try to keep you out. He was told because he’s worked so hard to reenlist, which they said they just don’t see that level of commitment all too often, they know Ryan would make a great Soldier. I could have told them that, but hey, I’m biased like that. So everyone, please continue to keep our son in mind that he’ll get past this one last hurdle. All of us are very grateful for your help!

Speaking of military stuff, this week also had an occurrence that quite honestly has me baffled at the ridiculousness of it all: Fox Falsely Claims Obama Administration Leading “Christian Cleansing” Of Military. This caused so many people to seriously panic about End Times and whatnot the Pentagon found it necessary to issue the following:

“Service members can share their faith (evangelize), but must not force unwanted, intrusive attempts to convert others of any faith or no faith to one’s beliefs (proselytization),” said Navy Lt. Cmdr. Nate Christensen, a Pentagon spokesman, in an email.

“If a service member harasses another member on the basis of race, color, sex, religion, national origin, age, or disability, then the commander takes action based on the gravity of the occurrence. Likewise, when religious harassment complaints are reported, commanders take action based on the gravity of the occurrence on a case-by-case basis.”

Christensen said there are no plans to single out evangelical Christians for punishment, despite claims of activists.

“The U.S. Department of Defense has never and will never single out a particular religious group for persecution or prosecution. The Department makes reasonable accommodations for all religions and celebrates the religious diversity of our service members,” he said.

I first learned of it from one of the prepper pages I follow, where the site owner posted a link with the following, thereby opening a whole can of worms:

IMO, this news makes it official–the U.S. has officially declared war on Christianity–just as it’s been prophesied.

Seriously. And, anyone who dared to be rational about the whole thing, myself included, were called wolves in sheep’s clothing and whatnot. You should really read what these folks are saying, because I’m absolutely baffled. I get it, to a degree, because she’s Mormon, and a big part of her religion involves waking people up on a weekend morning to talk about God, and even the mere suggestion of keeping one’s beliefs to oneself is unconscionable. (When I told her I was devoutly religious but that I keep it to myself, that I’m not even sure bossman knows what I believe in, she all but called me a liar. Because, y’know, that just doesn’t happen – or something.)

Well, along came this sane and rational reply to a ridiculous image:

I really hope that’s going to be the end of it, but I’d be an idiot if I thought that. Nope, FOX just had to stir the pot and get people worked up, probably because they’re losing viewership. I mean, they could have gone back to their annual War on Christmas, what with it still snowing in Minnesota and Iowa, but nah – they need a new way to get people to run around in circles and panic.

Well, I have a very busy day today – another new listing to visit, a couple more showings, and yes, getting some test driving in and honing my negotiating skills. I already got my intro speech down, too. I’m going to tell the salesperson,

“Listen __________, I’m gonna make this real easy on ya. You’re getting a commission today – no need to work me over, but just don’t BS me. We like you guys and want to work with you again. I’ve got great credit and a good job with my proof of income right here, and I’m even willing to either pay out the door or drop a huge down payment. So, how much you’re making off me in the half hour or so is up to you. Now here’s what I need…”

I figure I should talk to the guy salesperson to salesperson, saying all the things I love hearing myself. And yes, reminding him we are a repeat customer should get us a little further. It has me wondering why that sort of blunt rationing doesn’t work on religious zealots.

Anyway folks, you all have a great day and a better week, and many blessings to you and yours!

Take care!

Beltaine, military cuts and religious websites blocked

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Apr 272013

Good morning everyone and happy Saturday once again! And yes, a very blessed Beltaine next week to you and yours! Wait a sec – hold up – I got something to commemorate the holiday…

Happy Beltaine

So how are you celebrating the first of May? They’re saying it’ll be 79F on Tuesday (Woo! Sexy sun dress time!) and cooling down on Wednesday to the mid-60s with some rain coming in. So yeah, I do believe since our window units haven’t been put in yet, it’ll definitely be a sleeping-without-blankets kind of night. And, with the weather finally cooperating, I’ve been out canvassing again on top of having a personal record rental month, so I’m all good on my springtime cardio and funding for spring cleaning and redecorating. And, that includes getting ready for some PSG action with the extra little bit of money I earned, so I treated myself to ordering a zip hoodie for the chilly late nights around the fire. (Hey! At least now you’ll be able to pick me out of the crowd at night for sure!) It’s funny I’ve had that song stuck in my head all week (Your time will commmmmeeeee!), and now that I’ve drawn the correlation with the Maypole scene in the movie, it all makes sense – kind of. Funny how the mind works.

Anyway, so this week, I came across an article that, while I readily admit it put a wicked smirk on my face upon reading, it does have me double-thinking the situation in a wider scope:

Southern Baptist Website Blocked on Some US Bases – Defense Department spokesman Lt. Col. Damien Pickart said Thursday in an interview that the problem seemed to be with the commercial software the military uses to protect its network. The software blocks access to prohibited sites, like those for pornography or gambling, as well as sites that might have some type of malware associated them, often unbeknownst to the site’s owners.

Yeah, a big ole Nelson-style Ha! Ha! came out, especially since the article points out “…the Nashville-based Southern Baptist Convention has 16 million members and [Chaplain Alliance for Religious Liberty executive director Ron] Crews said it provides more military chaplains than any other faith group…”, and the Christian blogosphere completely blew up over it. Considering all the hoops our Pagan military has been made to jump over the years and whatnot, yeah, a little private schadenfreude never really hurt anybody.

But here’s the thing: What other sites are being blocked? It seems they believe malware was involved in automatically blocking the Christian website, and there’s been a number of news reports about a massive WordPress botnet attack which yes, this site is powered by that, as I’m sure many others. While I do clear out several pages of spam each week, usually trying to sucker people into buying fake stuff, I haven’t detected any real issues. But then again, I’m no super techie either. So I ask everyone who runs Pagan-related sites to scan the heck out of their computers just to make sure everyone, including our military who oftentimes has limited resources, will be able to access the information you provide. I’m talking the full scan – the kind you leave running overnight.

I also wanted to send a shout-out to my son Ryan, whom many of you have come to learn about over the past three years. Yes – three years. That’s how long W&K has been out when I first started writing, and it was all about our son. He’s again been bumped up to take his MEPS physicals, this time scheduled for Tuesday, and his recruiter has said she is going to drive him there herself if she has to. I really hope all these last-minute delays aren’t coming from all the cuts they’ve been making. Earlier this week, the following was released:

Army Warns of Drastic Reductions in Troop Numbers – The Army has already planned to trim its ranks from a wartime footing of 570,000 soldiers to 490,000 due to previously planned budget reductions approved by Congress in 2011, according to [Army Secretary John] McHugh said.

But if the automatic cuts, known as sequestration, are extended into future years, tens of thousands more soldiers, including members of the Army National Guard and Reserve, will have to be let go due to a lack of money, he said.

So please continue to send our son good vibes he not only gets to go to his physicals, but that he passes again and gets a new ship date. Ron and I, and Ryan of course, greatly appreciate it. He’s worked so hard, even when things didn’t work out for him the first time around, and he hasn’t given up. I know if it would have been me, I most likely would have figured I’d go find something else to so. So not even speaking as his mom, just as another person, I do admire his gumption and know he’ll make a fine Soldier.

Welp, honestly, that’s about all I have for you all this week. I’m really trying to steer clear of the bad news, because we’ve just had way too much of it. Have fun dancing around the maypole, folks, and I’ll be back next week. Many blessings to you and yours!

Helping the helpers, ignoring the ignorant

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Apr 202013

Good morning everyone and happy Saturday once again! And yes, we all deserve a break this morning, so let’s make it a happy one. So, before I get into this week’s recap, I’d like to say a Happy 420 and a Happy Earth Day to everyone who celebrates and participates, which I’m sure there are quite a few, like me, who can correlate the two. The only thing I smoke is cigarettes (yeah, yeah, I know), but I certainly see how hemp products (y’know, from the male plants) can be wonderful, cheap and renewable resources for just about everything: Fuel, paper, building materials, etc. And of course, the female plants, if not for those dirty hippies getting high and whatnot, can most certainly be used for a wide variety of medicinal purposes. Illinois may very well be the 19th state to endorse such usage, albeit very restrictive.

So with that said, let’s go over all the craziness that happened this week. We all know about what happened at the Boston Marathon, and I was really pissed at all the news sources who, while they said “Warning: Graphic photos”, they still displayed that picture of the guy with his leg blown off (with and without his face blurred) and of course the cover of Time. (Notice I’m not linking that crap.) Was that really necessary? It’s like I said Monday night, I like my brutality in music version, even if a good portion of it is misogynistic. And, if I want to see that, I’ll just watch a movie, which that too is often messed up against women in particular. See, but that’s the difference – it’s entertainment. It’s not real. And, it’s clearly meant for (whacked?) adults like me to enjoy. The news is real, featuring a recap of what actually happened in the world, which I do include MSM here. It’s meant for everyone to view, including children and those who are very sensitive to such matters. So if I’ve proven anything to myself, it’s that the copious amounts of violent music and movies I’ve digested since I was a toddler have not desensitized me, and I’d like to think that’s pretty average. In other words, I still throw up the finger to Tipper Gore decades later. Ha! It has me thinking of that Onion article that still makes me giggle!

But really now, instead of zooming in on the crapola, let’s instead focus on all the good deeds shared. So we had an act of terrorism happen in our own back yard again, and there was that massive explosion in Texas, and the serious flooding right here at home. That’s on top of serious earthquakes that happened across the globe. What. A. Friggin. Week! But like everyone’s favorite neighbor, Mr. Rogers, once said,

When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me,

‘Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.’ To this day, especially in times of ‘disaster’, I remember my mother’s words and I am always comforted by realizing that there are still so many helpers – so many caring people in this world.”

So let’s look for the helpers now, shall we?

- Heroism at the Boston Marathon: Meet “the helpers”
- Marathon Aftermath: Helpers and Helpees, We’re Both
- In Boston, ‘look for the helpers’

And one of the interesting stories I believe our military would enjoy:

- Soldiers run the Boston Marathon with 40-pound packs, then save lives.

Here they are a couple hours before the bombing:

In full gear, in boots no less, with 35-40lb ruck sacks, on a warm, sunny day, running 26.2 miles has gotta be hell! You guys go!

And here they are again, giving an interview as to why they’re running:

- Soldiers Run Boston Marathon With 40 lb Backpack For Wounded Warriors

And of course, here’s a bunch of photos before, during and after the bombing of these same troops:

- Soldiers Who Ran Boston Marathon Carrying 40 Pounds As Tribute Helped Save Lives After Explosions

Right place at the right time for sure.

There are conspiracy theorists who don’t believe in such coincidences, that the controlled explosion drill happening on the same day, and the guys finishing the line just as the explosions occurred, and it’s believed their ruck sacks contained emergency first aid supplies, were all a little too convenient. Oh, and let’s not forget Family Guy somehow got thrown into the mix as some kind of a prediction. And, they were saying the Shelter in Place procedure for over a million people and businesses (except Dunkin Donuts, natch, cuz, y’know, cops lol) during the manhunt was actually a test for martial law. Well, even this cynic didn’t put that together. To anyone speculating that, and I’m looking at you Alex Jones, I got another finger for you. You can take your false flags and shove it. Oh, and to the NY Post, who right away jumped at saying “ZOMG! Muslims!” when no one, including officials even knew who the suspects actually were – yeah, we Pagans have already had enough of your crap and now I believe everyone else has their eyes wide open.

And after a whole day of a city being locked down, just after people were allowed to go back outside, guess what: It was a CITIZEN who actually found the guy. Granted, had the lockdown not occurred, I agree the suspect could have very well blended into the crowd, even though he was bleeding profusely – very probably pulled another carjacking and that time perhaps killing the passenger. All speculative of course, but it’s reasonable enough of a conclusion to draw. And after the ambulance came and carted his ass away, without giving the suspect his Miranda rights and possibly being treated as an enemy combatant in spite of being a U.S. citizen, Boston rejoiced harder than had the Pats and the Sox won in the same year.

So here we are, left to digest all of what happened in a single week. What do we do with all of this? While I do not apologize for my views on feeling I wished the suspect, who by all accounts gave plenty of evidence he is indeed guilty, was shot to Swiss cheese, I have to relent it’s better they are interrogating him while they pump blood back into his system and find out all they need to know. I also do not apologize for hoping he meets up with Big Bob in Gitmo. And yeah, I’m sure quite a few folks in Boston were cheering on as the ambulance rolled by with a “Howdoya like dem apples?!” We collectively feel safer. We feel justice has and is being served. It’s the beginning of closure that came quickly. That’s a good thing. So let’s focus on the good that came out of this and other tragedies. Let’s help the helpers in any way we can and ignore the ignorance that unfortunately seems to be the vocal majority.

For everyone who has suffered, let’s continue to send healing thoughts and prayers. They, and their loved ones, are stricken with pain and grief. Continue to light candles, send good vibes, and donate however you can. Runners crossed the finish line and then headed straight to nearby hospitals to donate blood. Others ran toward the injured and picked them up. And others still went out to serve home brewed coffee while the investigations were underway. Every little bit helps. Let’s focus on the good.

May your Gods bless you and yours.

Naturally letting your light shine through

military, Paganism No Responses »

Apr 132013

Good morning everyone and happy Saturday once again! And to my friends up north, I’ve already told Winter to take a hike, but I guess my words aren’t strong enough. I’ll see if I can get a few more people on board to help!

Earlier this week, I attended a day’s worth of required real estate classes downtown, and it was pretty engaging and informative. I was very disappointed with many of my classmates though. While true, all that technically was required was signing in and occupying a seat, I found it pretty rude to not be giving the lecturers undivided attention, especially considering they had a lot of valuable information and personal insight to share. One lady was twirling her hair and cracking her gum, another was texting every five sections, there was the lady with the breakfast buffet spread out in front of her, oh and of course, the guy sleeping is always a classic. And here’s me, feverishly taking notes, even blowing through two pens and having to ask to use of of theirs. I felt like I was in high school again. On the upside, at least these are people I won’t have to worry about as being my competition, because they obviously don’t care about doing their jobs well.

Do you know people like that – people who do the bare minimum and merely float through life? Does it frustrate you? Do you ignore it? Do you address the behavior to them or superiors? In this case, their apathy is to my benefit, but I’ve worked enough jobs over the years to remember what it’s like to have bottom-feeders directly and negatively affecting me, especially if I had to start picking up the slack. The most common statement, to this day, that grates on me like fingernails on a chalkboard is,

“That’s not my job!” I’ve never understood that mentality. The way I see it, if a task is not in your job description, and if you have time, you can always offer to assist, since you would perhaps be learning something new. And, the more you know about what other people are doing, the more valuable you make yourself, either to the company you currently work for or someplace else – sometime down the road. It also adds value to what you are doing, learning why your job is important. If anything, keeping busy makes the day go by that much faster.

That was one of the major take-away points at the classes this week: Never stop learning. You don’t have to be a full-on bookworm to have a thirst for knowledge, nor do you have to be innately curious. My understanding is to value my career as much as I value my personal life. And why not? I dedicate enough hours in the week toward the ultimate goal of paying the bills, so I may as well enjoy what I’m doing. Even when I had crappy McJobs, I found a way to learn something new all the time. When I was waiting tables in greasy spoons, the biggest thing I learned was how to be happy in spite of everything falling apart all around me (and how to smile even while I was getting stiffed). Standing in front of a photocopier for six hours straight taught me how to shut out the chattering monkey in my head and hone the concept of working meditation (the only type of meditation that works for me). And, being around catty, gossipy people in an office taught me how to appreciate my very interesting friends and family by contrast that much more.

So this week, I’d like to know how you handle others not doing their share and/or the completely unmotivated who do the bare minimum. This applies all across the board, including the military. (“Lazy Soldier” sadly has a lot of results, with side results for “lazy military wives”, which irks the heck out of me.) It’s been my experience unless their behavior directly affects how your day goes or causes harm to others, including denying you a raise and/or promotion due to having to pay them, either let it go or go somewhere else. People with poor ethics don’t get away with it forever, even if it seems like it now, because that behavior carries over. And unfortunately, reporting bad behavior is seen as being “that guy” which I’m sure you can supply several definitions. The biggest ones of course are animosity and alienation, when people think you should just mind your own business and do your own job instead of worrying about what someone else is doing. A much more positive alternative is to set better examples yourself without publicly pointing them out, thumping your chest or patting yourself on the back.

I read an article this week about the use of Styrofoam during rituals, and while I most certainly got the point and agreed with the overall message, the tone alienated and even infuriated many people who are trying their darnedest to do good work for their communities. The tone even had some people questioning what makes the author, a person I know personally and does work very hard with her offerings, feel she’s so much better “than the rest of us”. For those who thought that, I feel ya – I do! That’s not a diss, but I get it. Sometimes, brutal honesty is well… brutal.

As many of you know, I’m not the activist type. I do what I do, and I really avoid using the, “As a ____________, I ____________” introductions, because for some, it carries a sour, perhaps even a pompous, tone. (You know, the “look what I can do!” types.) Instead, I do my best in every facet of my life, and I hope people notice enough to ask me why I do things a certain way. And in my explanations, I focus on the carrot rather than the stick. Here’s an example I’ve used many times:

Why I use canvas shopping bags instead of letting the bagger fill my groceries in plastic:

- Because I earn money for each one I use, and in 10 to 20 uses, I get my money back. Beyond that is gravy, actually making me money.

- Canvas bags are much easier to pack in the trunk and unload.

- The handles are soft and thick, and for someone who usually has to walk a half block from the trunk to the door, and then haul them up the stairs, it sure is better than the plastic bag handles cutting into my palms.

- Canvas bags don’t split easily, meaning I don’t have to worry about my groceries spilling all over the street.

- Instead of trying to figure out what to do with all those plastic bags, including throwing up my hands and throwing them away out of frustration, I toss the canvas bags in the laundry hamper.

- I get to use them for more than just groceries, like my camping gear. The smaller ones make nice little totes, especially if I find one with a cool logo. (Or hey, I can even design my own, and that’s fun.)

- Oh and yeah, by the way, I do get that “good job” fulfillment from doing my share to keep plastic out of landfills or finding its way in a tree branch or in a dolphin’s stomach.

Did you catch how I put the “good for the environment” tag at the end there? I lifted the finger-wagging “do your duty” vibe but delivered the same message, and I especially focused on myself. No shaming. No guilt-tripping. I give my reasons because someone asked, but otherwise I keep my business to myself. In business, they use the “compliment sandwich” when going over job performance, with a good thing to say, where improvement is needed and then wrapping it up with another compliment. There’s no such thing as a 100% performance review, just like no restaurant will ever get a 100% report from the health inspector (though, don’t worry, most of them get 90+). It just doesn’t happen, because there’s always room for improvement. For that restaurant to get 100%, especially if the health inspector came by during the lunch/dinner rush (which I learned they like to do!), the restaurant would have to hire a guy to follow everyone around and clean up behind them as soon as a speck of dust hit the ground.

So yes, while again, I was disappointed in the way some of my classmates were behaving, I let it go. It wouldn’t have done anyone any good to call these people out, how the two lecturers were giving up hours of their time and sharing their combined 80+ years of experience just for them to occupy seats. And in fact, I would have burned some bridges that may not even exist for another ten years. Instead, I paid attention, took notes enough to wear out pens and develop a hand cramp. And, the little I did contribute got me a “Kudos to you!” compliment from one of these big wig guys for suggesting a new way of tackling a tough situation, and that came with some of my classmates actually taking notes from me. That was very satisfying indeed.

So today, this week, this month, this year – let your light shine through, and I promise you, people will notice.

Take care, and many blessings to you and yours!

Who you can depend on

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Apr 062013

Good morning everyone and happy Saturday once again! Did it start getting Spring-like by you this week? Here, we got a taste of it Thursday, and then it dipped again. But Thursday – what a beautiful day! I had a bunch of different apartments to show in the morning, so I was doing a lot of driving around. And in the afternoon, I had gotten a bunch of new apartments to list, so I was doing even more driving around, hopping from place to place to take measurements and pictures. It’s another one of those little things I hadn’t realized I missed so dearly – just driving around on a gorgeous day with the windows down. Ron doesn’t care for open windows at home, as he fears the cat will claw through the screen like he had done once. So for me, fresh air comes from actually being outside, and I revel in every minute of it!

Ryan had also called with good news this week: his MEPS (physical) should be next week due to his paperwork finally being approved. He said he’s been really pushing himself to make sure he’ll have no problems passing the exams, so he’s feeling really good about the whole thing. After that, he picks a MOS (job in layman’s terms) and waits again for a ship date. So for everyone who had sent some positive vibes for him and continue to do so, I once again thank you. Really, thanks so much – Ryan and I deeply appreciate it.

And… and… I have even more good news to share with you: Dempsey in Afghanistan for Exit Talks. They’re guessing 9-10k of the troops will remain, but for he most part, things are finally starting to see a real light at the end of such a dark tunnel. Just in dollars, when you figure the cost of the wars in Iraq, Afghanistan and Pakistan is at least $3.7 trillion, not to mention 6,648 troops who have been killed, it’s about damned time. Of course, that much money spent is a big reason why we don’t have money for other important necessities like chemo treatment for the elderly. CNBC reports the sequester was all chicken little talk, but just like the difference between a recession and a depression is when it affects you, so goes sequestration. Ah well, at least it’s been leaked who the wealthy are that hide their money and where they’re hiding it.

Maybe with the 4,000 Americans included in that leak who are defrauding the system, the amount collected might put a dent in this massive hole we have acquired. Right? Not so much, because it’s simply not enough. Obama’s talking about cutting social security again but is making up for it by cutting his own salary, so it’s all good. Heck, even Biden’s in, but only if his employees are affected. Oh, and for you regulr Joe tax cheats, don’t worry, the IRS is investigating you, too in new and disturbing ways. And of course, whatever savings are made, it’ll all get thrown at North Korea, since they’re already strongly suggesting evacuating embassies. Yep, once again, call me a cynic.

With all this uncertainty floating around, the one thing that personally keeps me grounded and feeling a lot more secure about things in general is socking away whatever I can when I can. Just yesterday, I realized all my scrimping since registering for PSG on the first day has paid off, and that’s in spite of spending $1160 in car repairs in that time. I have actually saved enough money in my Mason jar to pay for my groceries and gas… over 2 months early! And with my moving season already doing so well, I just know I’ll have plenty of extra funding to “stimulate the economy” by making some needful things purchases at the vendors. I’d like to share with you how I’ve been doing it.

There was a system floating around that gradually charts how much to toss in your rainy day fund and come out to $1,378 by year’s end. One Week 1, just throw in a dollar. Week 2, two dollars, Week 3, three dollars – and so on. Now I’ll admit, I’ve jumped the gun whenever possible, tossing in a future week whenever I could. Right now, I’m at Week 17 at $153, which obviously means I’m ahead of myself, since it’s only the end of the first week of April. That means, my next deposit is $18 for Week 18, which I technically don’t have to make for some time, but it feels good to do it anyway. And what’s more, I also go into that jar not to take any money away, but to replace it with 20′s. I fold them in half, back side out, so that the large “20″ is staring me in the face through the jar on my desk. Seeing all those 20′s makes me feel that much more accomplished, rich even, than a wad of singles – that’s for sure!

And how have I been even managing to squirrel away that, again, in spite of unforeseen repairs, and also having to pay taxes (meaning, no refund for us)? That all comes from cutting our frills, which includes “fancy” groceries. anywhere I can go DIY on the matter, I have. Anywhere I can match a coupon to a sale, I have, even clothes shopping. Anytime we go out to eat, we go cheap, which even that is less and less – usually no more than once a week. (“It’s my only day to be fancy!” as Squidward says.) And yes, I most certainly make due with what we have. My purse-style briefcase is on it’s last legs, where I’ve been constantly repairing the straps with leather strapping and double knots. Even at half price, I’ll be damned if I’m going to spend another $50 on a bag I only bought five months ago, even though I load it with heavy stuff and use it every day. Yep, I’m cheap, and I’m not shy to admit that. My $2.50 sunglasses (discounted 90% plus a 30% coupon, but whatever) can attest to my cheapness, but at least I’m not blinded from the sunlight while driving.

Welp, I do gotta get going to do a bunch of showings. The last few Saturdays have been worth getting dressed for, so I have no doubt this one will be any different.

Have a great week everyone, and many blessings to you and yours!

The bottom line vs. what matters most

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Mar 302013

Good morning everyone and happy Saturday once again! And, to all those who celebrate, be it the secular or religious variant (or someplace in-between), happy Easter as well. So how has the last week been for you? For me, it’s the last week of the month, so I’ve been very busy showing places to people. Yesterday, we finally had some Spring, and it sure is nice to hear the robins singing again. I go through the same thing every year, realizing how much I missed the robins, and green grass, and driving with the windows down, and not wearing a wool trench coat, and… Everything just seems so… alive! The temps will dip a bit next week, but just being able to forgo blasting the heat is much appreciated. I can dig it!

Reviewing the past week, the news has been rather grim. We were reminded it was forty years ago the last of the troops in Vietnam were sent home, Lt. Dan Choi is still on trial, a vet bragged about fighting With Al-Qaida and is being charged for it, and of course, King Joffrey… I mean Kim Jong Un, is pissed our guys flew overhead and is raising his threats. And then, on top of everything else, a columnist in St. Louis says only hero-heroes should be awarded with military honors upon their deaths. Really?!

In some small way, I get what he’s saying, that a guy who was drafted, was assigned a cushy job stateside and didn’t pull a Forrest Gump isn’t of the same caliper as someone like these guys. He did his time, he went home unscathed, got a job in an office, married, had a few kids, retired in Florida with a pension and benefits, lived long enough to see his grandkids graduate high school and died peacefully in his sleep. The end. But let’s think about that for a minute: This fictitious man, while he got lucky and didn’t have to see any action, he probably didn’t know he would get lucky. He could have very easily fled to Canada or crapped his pants. No, he was brave in the fact his number came up and showed up to serve his country, even with Walter Cronkite scaring the bejeezus out of him. That denotes courage, courage deserving of the honors awarded him and everyone else who has ever served, and that’s good enough for me.

And yes, I do get we’re broke, that we need to make some painful cuts in the military, and there are always more important things tax dollars should be going. But y’know, sometimes, it’s the little things that matter – not just now but down the road, too. Some feel spending $80k on a stone circle for Pagan Air Force cadets was wasteful. Others feel suing the Veterans Administration so the pentacle can be placed on military headstones was a waste of taxpayer dollars as well.

And y’know, I again get that to a small degree, because the people balking are either extremely fiscally conservative or are staunchly against supporting much of anything that does not adhere to their principles. Perhaps it’s a little of both. And yes, again, we’re broke, and with it being tax time, the “53%” (which we are technically now a part of since we paid this year instead of getting a refund, and we get no ~~entitlements~~ benefits) are looking at the bottom line. I’m fiscally conservative. Some have even said behind my back I’m related to Mr. Krabs. (Yikes!) I will admit, it pains me to spend money on things unless it’s absolutely necessary or I really, really have wanted something for an exceptionally long time. But I do. But even Mr. Krabs is a Navy vet who was a cook on the S. S. ~~Gourmet~~ Diarrhea, and I’m certain he would be okay with a few pennies going toward my fictitious man mentioned. Well, Eugene might cry about it a bit at first, but that tiny heart of his might give in, perhaps at his darling daughter Pearl’s urging. (I watch too much Spongebob to know all this, don’t I?)

I had mentioned the news this week was rather grim, but not entirely. On Monday, my Facebook wall went red, since at least half of my Friends changed their profile pictures. To folks who have a serious gripe with the Human Rights Campaign, and yes, the folks who are against marriage equality as a whole (still shaking my head about the local peeps’ comments!), they may feel tax dollars being spent on the Supreme Court hearings is a waste. I readily admit I have no horse in the race, so I should also be against my tax dollars going towards this, right? No, because I see marriage equality as not just a baby step but a huge leap toward making our country stronger. That does involve me, so there goes that logic right there. How? Well here’s my sterile, business-minded rationing:

- Marriage, not holy matrimony, provides a plethora of benefits not extended to cohabitants. Ron and I lived together for a couple years before we married, and when we did, we immediately saw a huge difference in how much more money we had available to us. More money in peoples’ pockets means more money available to stimulate the economy.

- Things like married health care benefits means healthier people since it’s cheaper to be on someone else’s plan than to get your own. A healthier populace means more productivity.

- Married couples are greatly preferred over singles and cohabitants when it comes to adopting children. Getting kids out of foster care means fewer tax dollars being spent, and children who grow up in loving homes with support systems have a much better chance of becoming productive citizens than kids who “age out“.

- Marriage always means money for the surrounding community, from beginning to end. Traditional weddings involve caterers, florists, reception halls, dress makers and so much more. And yes, divorces certainly make lawyers happy.

- It’s been said happy people make more money, and the more money one has, the more there is to spend. So why would anyone encourage two people who love each other not to marry, when marriage makes people happy?

Welp, I’ve got another busy Saturday scheduled, so I do need to get things wrapped up. Many blessings to you and yours, and yes, be happy!

Recent news recaps

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Mar 232013

Good morning everyone and happy Saturday once again! So how has your week been? Did you attend a parade in honor of your Irish heritage? Color eggs for Ostara? Perhaps go groundhog hunting? What about tonight: Will you be shutting off the lights at 8:30pm for Earth Hour? Yep, it certainly seems like there’s lots of stuff going on.

This week (and the week before that), that’s definitely true as far as what’s in the papers, but not all of it is good. Let’s recap:

- Cyprus bailout: Bank tax plan still unresolved: Don’t know what I’m talking about here? Basically, Cyprus is the Caymen Islands of Europe, and their government is broke because of it. And, because they’re tied to the Euro, Brussells is telling them how to spend what money they have left.

The island nation is located between Turkey and Syria in the Mediterranean and is a favorite banking spot for hiding dirty money of Russian mobsters, among others. It’s usually a great place to visit, but this past week – not so much. Folks living there got a major wake-up call when the banks all closed and told them they’d be taking 7-10% of their deposited money as a tax, or as most folks call it – stealing. They won’t reopen until at least Tuesday, over a week later. The ATMs are all but dried up, and not surprisingly, there’s lots of talk about a “peasant revolt”. One guy even showed up at his bank with a bulldozer to get his money back! Check this out!

Now while I do love my conspiracy theories and would ordinarily lump “bank runs” and “bank holidays” in the mix, well, this is for real, and what’s even scarier is New Zealand thinks this is a good idea. Considering again Cyrpus has been tied to the the Euro since 2008, and that even though this is a country about half the size of Connecticut, it’s casting a gloomy shadow over all Euro countries and again, Russia, too.

So what does this have to do with us? Well, to me anyway, it sets a precedent. If they go ahead and just take peoples’ money like that, whether or not they “get away with it”, they’ll do it again, perhaps with a country people “care about”. As my techie friends would call it, this is a beta test, and I don’t like it one iota. I say they should pull an Iceland on them. What say you?

- Gun shops running low on ammo: Versions of this story have been going around since the holidays (namely after Sandy Hook though sales have been way up since the 2008 elections) and from several sources, so I’m calling it reliable. Since people are in such a panic buying mode buying up as many guns as they can, they’re finding out the bullets they need for the guns, if they can even get them right away, are becoming scarce even for cops. It’s kind of like when Santa got a kid the Teddy Ruxpin doll but with no batteries. Back then, no stores were open on Christmas day, so they had to wait – and patience on playing with a favorite toy staring them right in the face wears thin fast. It’s bad enough people have these “stupid” waiting periods (if, of course, no gun shows or buy-back programs are around):

So yeah, if you think the lines for flatscreens on Black Friday are long, head on down to Bass Pro Shops on delivery day. People used to get ammo delivered to their doorsteps, but lately, the websites that haven’t closed up shop are emailing customers with notices just about everything is out of stock – for several weeks. One could say the guys on Doomsday Preppers who make their own bullets from spent shell casings made a pretty wise investment on the machines. Me, I dunno. While I have no problem with responsible people wanting to own a gun, or several, all this mad rush business has me thinking it’s just getting the wrong people psyched up for that “something big” happening that might not be all that good of a deal for the rest of us.

- Military Tuition Assistance Funding Reinstated By Congress: Well at least I have some good news to report. It seems Congress got the memo taking away school funding for our military is a bad idea, and they’ll just have to find another area to make budget cuts. One of the recent announcements was closing 149 control towers, leaving pilots to fend for themselves. Now I’ve been following a lot of forums about this, asking folks who fly in and out of smaller airports if this is going to be a big deal, and most say no – that calling in isn’t that big of a deal. I guess we’ll just have to wait and see how that pans out, hopefully with good results.

- DOD delays sending furlough notices to civilian employees: Well, this isn’t great news, but it’s at least okay given the circumstances. Unfortunately though, the National Guard jumped the gun and sent out furlough notices by mistake, causing a whole lot of needless worry. It almost has me wishing someone would send out the same notices to Congress. Maybe then they’d get the picture.

- Afghanistan, U.S. Reach Deal On Wardak Troop Withdrawal: And yes, I do have another good piece of news. It’s been ten years since the Iraq war began, which I never supported, but I had no problem with our troops going to Afghanistan to look for the rat bastard. And he’s dead now, so our troops can come home. Truly, Mission Accomplished. Thank you!

- U.S. Is Bolstering Missile Defense to Deter North Korea: So does this mean our troops get to come home only to be sent back out to North Korea? I swear, The Imp needs to just take King Joffrey over his knee and spank him with the flat side of a broadsword. Oh wait, I got that wrong – I’m all geared up for Game of Thrones! Nah, the notion can still be applied, so I’ll leave that right there.

- Bombing For Jesus: This is a couple weeks old, but I haven’t had a chance to post this until now. Many of us are well aware evangelicals are widespread throughout the military, and while mass improvements for minority faiths being represented have been made, it’s issues like this that continue to be discussed remind us there’s still a long way to go. It’s kind of funny I wrote an article on this topic about a year ago, and rereading what I wrote, it’s also funny just this morning, I heard the robins chirping again as the sun rose – the first of the year. Perhaps it’s then not at all a coincidence but a strong reminder. We still very much need representatives of our faith to be serving those who serve, and I am sure I speak for many those who are taking up the challenge the tireless work and dedication are very much appreciated. Thank you!

Well, that’s about it for me this week. I have a very busy morning showing apartments, and the first one is scheduled for 9:30am, so I need to start getting ready. Hopefully, at least a few folks actually show up!

Have a great week everyone! And tonight, perhaps you can light your candles, dust off your board games and enjoy an evening with the ones you love. Many blessings to you and yours.

The Few and the Proud

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Mar 162013

Good morning everyone and happy Saturday once again! And yes, Happy St Pat’s Day/Irish Heritage Day/All Snakes Day, Blessed Ostara and don’t forget – Mercury goes DIRECT tomorrow! Can ya feel it?

Well, this week, I thought I’d do that journalist thing and provide you all with another Pagan military member interview. So, I’ll leave my parting here. Have a great week everyone, and many blessings to you and yours!

When the average American envisions a U.S. Marine, he or she may imagine a recruitment billboard: A tall, physically fit, broad-shouldered, square-jawed man standing in attention in a flawless dress uniform. The ads remind us there are only a few guys like these, and they sure are proud of it, and we all should aspire to be just like them. Or perhaps, some may recollect the stereotypical, perhaps frighteningly comical, Gunnery Sergeant Hartman screaming at his new recruits – some excited, some scared, and almost all well aware they will most likely be pulled for Infantry thousands of miles away from home. Then there are the action images we all picture – the dirty, adrenaline-infused Warrior firing off rounds in a foxhole while sneering at his enemies with a blunted cigar gnashed between his teeth.

But are any of those reflections accurate? The only time we do not picture a Marine as a strong caricature but instead as a human being, is either on homecoming clips or as wounded warriors struggling to adapt to a new norm – perhaps someone to pity. And in those homecoming clips, thousands of them we see every day, reminding us to thank them for our service but their individual faces we quickly forget, it’s either surprising the family or kissing his wife or girlfriend in a long-overdue embrace. And even then, when we do see Retired Marines (never say Ex-Marines!) who returned home whole, they are always projected as decidedly straight and Christian, perhaps as fist-shaking grumpy old men telling the neighborhood kids to stay off their lawns or as the over-protective, authoritarian fathers intimidating the new boyfriends of their teenaged daughters.

Whichever image is conjured, there is, I believe, one constant: a Marine, whether active or retired, represents the epitome of what it means to serve our country – a standard only a select few of us will ever achieve. A Marine is the toughest of the tough – a true badass in every sense. They say “Don’t Mess with Texas”, but that’s really just a stern request not to litter on the highways. Now “Don’t Mess with Camp Pendleton” – while it doesn’t have quite the same ring to it, well my Gods, that’s what I would call a serious warning! Don’t even think about it. Seriously. Just don’t.

One image we collectively do not picture for Marines are as being gay or Pagan, and definitely not the two combined. With that said, I would like to introduce you all to Sobu, a gay, Pagan Marine.

Sobu (left) and his handfasted partner, Phoenix

Thanks for taking time out for our readers, Sobu. I understand you were active duty in the U.S. Marines from 1996 to 2000, back when DADT was still fairly new and women of course were barred from direct combat positions. What was it like for gays in the military back then? And too, this was during the time when Pagans were decidedly not welcome in the military, recalling Bob Barr’s and George W Bush’s comments from that time, so please enlighten us on that aspect of the culture.

From what I experienced it wasn’t the best place for gays back then. I knew several gay service members who were discharged. It was definitely an atmosphere of fear and mistrust…even meeting other Marines who admitted to being gay could be a risk. At one point they added “Don’t Pursue” to Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell , which meant that if someone was suspected of being gay they weren’t supposed to be investigated, but it did happen. I was actually accused of being homosexual by one of my roommates. His “evidence” was that I had bodybuilding magazines (just like every other Marine did) and there was a cd in my music collection that had the words “gay-friendly” on it. It was a cd of a political-oriented band that a friend had given me.

Being Pagan was a bit different. I got into Paganism while I was in the Corps, and never really faced any real prejudice about it, at least to my face. I was pretty much out of the broom closet to most of the people I knew. The chapel on Camp Kinser on Okinawa gave us our own space to meet in, and we held weekly classes and had open rituals that anyone could attend. The group when I was there was called ARC (Alternative Religious Circle) and I eventually became one of the co-leaders. It was a great time. There were a few other groups on Okinawa that we coordinated with and we all met up for Sabbats, camping trips, and the occasional picnic. I have very good memories of being Pagan on Okinawa.

Because your active duty service ended a full year before the terrorist attacks, the overall defense climate was different as well. Would you care to detail where you were primarily stationed and your position?

I was a Weather Observer, MOS-6821, stationed on Marine Corps Air Station Futenma. I was one of the people in charge of our mobile weather vans, meaning I spent a lot of time deployed. I’ve climbed Mt Fuji twice, toured Korea and mainland Japan, and spent one night in Bangkok while in Thailand. The climate in Okinawa was a bit tense at times due to the horrifying rape case that occurred there a few months before I arrived. There were a lot of protests and attempts to remove several bases from the island, so security was always on the forefront of our thoughts.

You are handfasted to your wonderful partner, Phoenix, but I would like to inquire if it is legally recognized as a civil union in the state of Illinois. Are you two looking forward to Illinois moving forward to marriage equality?

The Illinois Senate has passed a gay marriage amendment, and the governor has stated he will sign it into law, so we’re just waiting on the House to approve it. I’m very much looking forward to marrying Phoenix, but we’re in no hurry. We enjoy each other very much, and there’s no doubt in our minds it will happen someday, but we’ve both been in relationships before that have taught us to take our time and not rush into anything. We handfasted in 2011 at the Pagan Spirit Gathering, and we consider ourselves engaged (in the real world), but as far as I’m concerned he’s already my husband.

With things progressing forward in the Supreme Court, do you believe we will see equal marriages occurring throughout the United States by this summer? How will you celebrate?

I don’t know about this summer, but I think it will happen eventually. As for celebrating…ha…maybe watch a few episodes of Will and Grace. We’re kinda low-key.

As someone who was raised in a small Midwestern town, how difficult is it for you to be open with your family and childhood friends about being gay or Pagan? What about at work?

With family and friends we are totally out. Even my grandmothers love Phoenix! He’s really fit into my family and I’m ecstatic about that. It wasn’t always easy, though. For years I felt like an outsider because of my homosexuality and distanced myself from my family. I spent so much time being afraid of losing the love of family and friends and I realize now that I sold their love short. When I came out I received so much support and well-wishes from so many people it was overwhelming, even friends from the Marine Corps were very supportive and happy for me.

I’m pretty much out at work. Several of my co-workers have met Phoenix, and ask me about him from time to time. It’s been a great experience to be open about that aspect of my life and have my co-workers be supportive or even indifferent to my lifestyle.

Being Pagan, on the other hand, is something I don’t really advertise. I work in a very Christian environment, and my family is also very Christian. Open-minded yes, but only to an extent. I have Pagan listed on my Facebook page as my religion, and I’ve had several people ask me about it, but not as many as I thought I would have.

With the climate being much more tolerant in the military toward gays and Pagans, do you believe your time in service would have been easier? In that respect, what has been your greatest challenge?

I think it would have been much easier! The main reason I got out was because I couldn’t handle not being true to myself anymore. I mean, you give up a lot of things when you join the military, and it’s worth being away from your family and not having the freedom to do what you want when you want, and I looked at hiding my sexuality as one of the sacrifices I could make to serve my country. I was proud to be a Marine, and I still am. My time in the service was one of the best times of my life. But the Corps Values of Honor, Courage, and Commitment were something I couldn’t truly uphold. I was lying to myself and to my friends and that started to wear on me. I had friends that knew, and they were cool with my being gay, but it started to get to be too much.

For those who are thinking about stopping by the recruiter’s office, what would be the one piece of advice you’d give them?

Do it! It will take you places you’ve never been and you will see things you can’t even imagine! It will change your life!

And before we part, I’d like to ask: If you were given the opportunity to restart your life just prior to enlisting, would you still serve? I know your family has a long history of service, so was that a huge factor for you?

I would definitely do it again. I’ve seen amazing parts of the world and been introduced to so many exciting cultures, foods, and experiences that I never would have if I hadn’t joined. My family’s history of service was very important to me, but it really didn’t factor into my decision to join.

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